Shirley's Pimple

from by Sterling Witt

/

lyrics

Shirley and her parents went on a vacation,
All the way to Bolivia, an exotic destination.

Death Road made Shirley fear for her life,
"At this rate, I’ll never be a wife."

Titicaca was too cold to put on her bikini.
She missed home, where she was a preteen queenie!

The wretched boat ride made her feel so sick,
She barfed in the lake “What a dirty trick!”

The food was the weirdest nightmare of all.
How could she eat it? She started to bawl.

The hotel room had the most atrocious smell.
Shirley felt she had died and gone to Hell.

Shirley thought it was horrible, simply deplorable.

On the last day, it started to rain.
"What a vacation!" She's going insane!

She tried to get away from all of the gloom.
Looking for piece of mind in the bathroom.

In the mirror, she found a bump on her chin.
Shirley screamed and cried. She just couldn’t win.

“What is it my dear?” Mom asked through the door.
Shirley freaked out, in a pile on the floor.

"Open up!" Dad said, “come out of there!”
Finally she came out, in obvious despair.

“What is it?” Mom asked. “WHAT IS IT?!” Shirley said,
Pointing to the bump that made her lose her head.

“Well, let’s see darling. It looks like a pimple.”
“I can’t believe it! Why can’t life be simple?”

“It will go away soon, just relax.”
They flew back home, where Shirely faced the facts:

She had a pimply bump, and it wouldn’t go away.
It got bigger and bigger every single day.

Shirley looked in the mirror, ready to pout.
“Mom! What the heck is this all about?”

Well, thats not a pimple. Oh my dear!
It’s way too big!” Shirley shed a tear.

“It must be a boil!”
“A boil? What’s that?”
“Same as a pimple, just bigger and fat!”

"That’s so gross! When’s it going to bust?"
Mom lied to me. She’s no one to trust.

She whined and moaned and felt out of place.
She couldn’t help feeling she was a disgrace.

Just then the boil started to move.
It wiggled and bounced, got into a groove.

As the bump burst open, a creature flew out!
Shirley screamed and cried, had a total freak out!

The creature buzzed around and bounced off the walls.
Her parents frantically rushed down the hall.

Dad caught the thing and put it in a jar.
Mom took care of Shirley and put her in the car.

The doctor used a magnifier to inspect the creature.
He looked long and hard, assessing every single feature.

He sewed up Shirley’s face and gave her medication.
“What we have here is a curious situation!”

“This creepy insect is a parasitic Bot Fly.
Not from around here—where'd you go and why?”

“Wait!” Shirley yelled, as she rolled up her pants.
“So these aren’t pimples?” Everyone had a glance.

So many bumps up and down her legs.
An infestation of Bot Fly eggs.

The doc passed out and fell to the floor.
Mom and Dad screamed and ran out the door.

They yelled for the nurse, or anyone at all.
Shirley sat alone and started to bawl.

It didn't take long, the bumps started to move.
They wiggled and bounced, got into a groove.

All she could do is wait and cry.
Shirley couldn't take it, she wanted to die.

BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO
BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

credits

from Something's Awry, released April 10, 2020

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Sterling Witt Kansas City, Missouri

“Originality is a hard thing to come by these days; and not a word we use lightly, but it has to be said – Sterling Witt is IT.”
-Indie Music Magazine

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