Something's Awry

by Sterling Witt

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1.
03:08
The Kelpie hides her nature by looking like a horse. Nothing is suspicious—looks normal, of course. She clips, she clops, and trots along the bank, looking for young ones to cunningly gank. She lures the children, as if she's a friend. Little do they know she's plotting their end. The stealthy Kelpie, so majestic in her stride, kneels all the way down to take the kids for a ride. “What a nice horse,” blind to her con. Other children watch as Clint hops on. The boy grabs her dripping wet mane. He smiles and waves, "She seems really tame!" In the blink of an eye the horse is so long! She wants to get the others, but something is wrong. The kids freak out and cause quite a fuss. The so-called horse is as long as a bus! "Jump! Jump! Jump! You’re in trouble come down!" Horrified faces, each with a frown. Irritated by the kids who won’t commit. The Kelpie stomps, neighs and throws its own kind of fit. She leaps up and out, high into the sky. too bad for the boy, it is time to die. The Kelpie and Clint plunge into the lake. Making massive waves crash and break. The other children wait and watch for any kind of sign. Nothing emerges, so they cry until nine. Soon it’s stark and dark as could be. Maybe tomorrow there’d be something to see? The next morning they return with hearts full of woe. Looking for their friend, but where did he go? They look behind the boulder, climb up in a tree. They walk around the lake hoping to to see... Then they find something that fills them with gloom. A shiny, wet lump, squishy and maroon. Could this be his liver that flopped on the shore? The only sign of their friend. They find nothing more.
2.
01:57
By day, I’m just a man, an ordinary man. Handsome and good-looking, I even have a tan. You’d never guess my secret. I know just how to keep it. I smile, I laugh, I joke. My deeds are mirrors and smoke. I have a magic belt that makes me feel a king! When the moon is full and bright you may hear me sing! It’s transformation time. Shape-shifting is divine! Don’t bother me with morals. I have no soul to care! The devil made a deal for it, clearly more than fair! By night I am a beast that nothing satisfies. Looking for a feast— preferably that cries! Everywhere I go, I aim to terrorize! I always eat the innocent. It makes me feel magnificent! No one stands a chance against my crushing jaws, Razor-sharp teeth, cunning, gouging claws! Don’t waste my time with plea bargains for me there is no laws! Lightning fast I blast, I strike across the earth. An honest man is sustenance I eat for all he’s worth! Ladies are preferable I love the way they scream! Lone but not lonesome—a werewolf has no team. Sheep and goats are fine, but children are the tastiest! Delicious little morsels, they drive me to the craziest! If by chance you meet me, it’s the only time you will. Run, run, run, run, run, run! I love to chase my kill! I lap and lick the blood to quench my wretched thirst! I eat and eat and eat until my gut could burst! If were not for the day, I would always get my way. I hope I'll see you sometime soon, underneath a full bright moon.
3.
03:48
My thoughts abound! What treasure I've found! You are dead. I have your head. Scooping out your lovely skull, It makes a handsome serving bowl. Condolences for your loss. I’ll use your hair as dental floss. The obit said you were a giver. Perhaps now I’ll eat your liver. Search your pockets for loose coins. I’ll bet you have some tender loins. I love your lips! So please concede For these are parts you do not need. Oh my! Oh my! It’s time for a thigh. Let’s not forget your beautiful eye! Another one, just like the other one!
 I’ll take the pair now you have none. Your ear lobes taste like chewing gum! Yum yum, yum yum, Yum yum, yum yum! I’ll drape your innards ‘round my neck, Call me crazy, but what the heck? Without a doubt I’ll eat your snout. I won't forget your scrumptious heart. For that’s where love is supposed to start! And what about your fingers and toes? I’ll try on your fancy clothes! Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha, Ha Ha! Gallstones taste like Jelly Beans! Pancreas? Nicer than it seems. What’s this? Water on the knee? A delicious beverage just for me! Slurp! Slurp! A flavorful burp! Roasted rump, a bump and a lump. Amazing! It tastes like cheese! I must have more! Seconds please! Of course the teeth are much too hard. I’m after the roots. They melt like lard! Oh my dear! Fluid in the ear? It tastes like honey…crystal clear! I don’t mean to be mean, but I must salt your spleen. No, no, no, I never waste! Kidney pie? What a taste! When all that is left is bone and gristle, I'll walk down your street, while I sing and whistle.
4.
04:02
Now that I’ve acquired a piece of your hair, your essence is mine and nothing is fair! I’ll make a doll that looks like you, to stab and poke. You won’t have a clue! You’ll bumble and fumble through your life, I’ll see to it that it turns to strife! Nothing will go the way that it ought. You have foes, a curse they bought! Oh, what a deal! Oh, what a day! I’ll make you out of sticks and clay! I’ll work the doll like a piece of dough. For you, your life will turn to woe! I’ll put you through a wicked test, pushing a pin inside your chest. How’s that feel? Like cardiac arrest? All you can mutter is “Help!” And “Why?” “Lord, not me! I’m too young to die!” I couldn’t help but laugh and giggle, watching your body squirm and wiggle! I see it all in my crystal ball. Your pathetic life just seems to stall. I slice the button from its eye. Now you’re blind and don’t know why! I push a pin into your heel. What good times I am able to steal! All you can do is trip and fall. Fetal position, cry and ball! I toss the bones and do a chant, while you wallow, curse and rant! Nothing you do will do the trick. I do what I can to make you sick! How about a boil, a rash, or a cyst? I am your doctor, here to assist! I prick your arm, leg, and head. Like it or not, you'll soon be dead. The deathbed blues have got you down. It's time for you to move out of town. It won't be long til you ride in a hearse. My work is done, I've completed the curse. I bury the doll deep in the dirt. Look on the bright side, I've ended your hurt. Like all things come to expire, it’s time for you to finally retire. Oh, what a deal! Oh, what a day! It’s much too fun to have it my way!
5.
I spy a child like I used to be, Peering through the branches of the banyan fig tree. Not so long ago, I was a child just like you. Young, dumb, and stupid with nothing to do. I was a great banyan fig climber! What on earth could ever be finer? Up one tree and down another, no time to listen to a meddlesome mother! Figs, figs, figs, all day long! What about that could ever be wrong? That’s how I felt, Oh, what a hand I was dealt! I should have listened to mom, but I'd never learn. It looked like an ape with wretched sunburn! Yara-Ma-Yha-Who, Mom I don’t believe you! It fell from the sky and wrestled me down. My worthless screams never reached into town! It leeched my blood through its fingers and toes! Deep in the woods where nobody knows! So weak and tired it swallowed me whole! Its hairy body was scratchy like wool! How could this not be the worst of it? I was thrown up! It hacked! It spit! Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. It treated me like a piece of meat! My strength came back while the red thing slept. I snuck, I ran, I jumped, I leapt. No stopping at all, not even to drink. Home, home, home was all I could think. Pleased and proud to escape great danger. But Mother treated me worse than a stranger! She yelled, she screamed, she kicked, she punched! What did she see? Not me, I hunched. My trouble was double! What could I do? I am a monster? Could that be true? Yara-Ma-Yha-Who, Mom I don’t believe you! She was due to do me in. So I had to run again! As good as gone so I go, and what do you know? Far away where I could worry and wonder. I found a banyan fig to curl up under. I saw myself in a puddle I teared. Unrecognizably ugly and weird! Could that be me with a prickly beard? Now I’ve become the thing that I feared! With bright red skin, bristly hair! Something about my life wasn’t fair! Doomed to do the same to the children that I see! Ignorance you say? Nothing in life is actually free! I am what I am, and that’s what I do. It’s a sad situation for a child like you. Yara-Ma-Yha-Who, Mom I don’t believe you!
6.
01:33
Underneath the backdoor she crept across the hardwood floor she leapt. Musty cloak with rips and tears tip-toeing up the creaky stairs. Into your room with utmost ease riding in on the key hole's breeze. She peeps, she spies on fear she thrives. She skips and scamps around your bed dredging up nightmares for your head. She crawls up on you like a throne a wizened whisper, "anyone home?" She rides you like you were a broom zip zip zip zip zip zip zip zoom! Some magic words will do the trick, a little spell to make you sick. Kazoo Kazam whip whip whip wham! She presses down upon your chest just enough, you get no rest. Easy peasy, to make you fret, she plays you like a marionette. Flippity Flippity Flap Tip Toe Tip Toe Tap! Mental Shackles taunt your brain, she cackles just to cause you pain. She's figured out how to use your fear to make her beautiful, youthful, and dear. Truth be told, she's crooked and cold– A wicked old coot who's quite astute! You're mystified, you're mortified, you can't remember, though you've tried. Paralysis is wearing off, It's time to whimper, cry and cough. The hag has had her way with you, there's nothing much that you can do. You're all alone with torment and fright, oh my goodness, what a horrible night!
7.
Shirley and her parents went on a vacation, All the way to Bolivia, an exotic destination. Death Road made Shirley fear for her life, "At this rate, I’ll never be a wife." Titicaca was too cold to put on her bikini. She missed home, where she was a preteen queenie! The wretched boat ride made her feel so sick, She barfed in the lake “What a dirty trick!” The food was the weirdest nightmare of all. How could she eat it? She started to bawl. The hotel room had the most atrocious smell. Shirley felt she had died and gone to Hell. Shirley thought it was horrible, simply deplorable. On the last day, it started to rain. "What a vacation!" She's going insane! She tried to get away from all of the gloom. Looking for piece of mind in the bathroom. In the mirror, she found a bump on her chin. Shirley screamed and cried. She just couldn’t win. “What is it my dear?” Mom asked through the door. Shirley freaked out, in a pile on the floor. "Open up!" Dad said, “come out of there!” Finally she came out, in obvious despair. “What is it?” Mom asked. “WHAT IS IT?!” Shirley said, Pointing to the bump that made her lose her head. “Well, let’s see darling. It looks like a pimple.” “I can’t believe it! Why can’t life be simple?” “It will go away soon, just relax.” They flew back home, where Shirely faced the facts: She had a pimply bump, and it wouldn’t go away. It got bigger and bigger every single day. Shirley looked in the mirror, ready to pout. “Mom! What the heck is this all about?” Well, thats not a pimple. Oh my dear! It’s way too big!” Shirley shed a tear. “It must be a boil!” “A boil? What’s that?” “Same as a pimple, just bigger and fat!” "That’s so gross! When’s it going to bust?" Mom lied to me. She’s no one to trust. She whined and moaned and felt out of place. She couldn’t help feeling she was a disgrace. Just then the boil started to move. It wiggled and bounced, got into a groove. As the bump burst open, a creature flew out! Shirley screamed and cried, had a total freak out! The creature buzzed around and bounced off the walls. Her parents frantically rushed down the hall. Dad caught the thing and put it in a jar. Mom took care of Shirley and put her in the car. The doctor used a magnifier to inspect the creature. He looked long and hard, assessing every single feature. He sewed up Shirley’s face and gave her medication. “What we have here is a curious situation!” “This creepy insect is a parasitic Bot Fly. Not from around here—where'd you go and why?” “Wait!” Shirley yelled, as she rolled up her pants. “So these aren’t pimples?” Everyone had a glance. So many bumps up and down her legs. An infestation of Bot Fly eggs. The doc passed out and fell to the floor. Mom and Dad screamed and ran out the door. They yelled for the nurse, or anyone at all. Shirley sat alone and started to bawl. It didn't take long, the bumps started to move. They wiggled and bounced, got into a groove. All she could do is wait and cry. Shirley couldn't take it, she wanted to die. BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO, BOO-HOO AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
8.
A mother and her son hike the Colorado Mountains.  Far from their home in the City of Fountains.   Chet, an obnoxious brat who thinks he’s cool, litters everywhere he goes, oh what a fool!   Wendy, his mother, a careless woman with a camera, takes pictures of everything, a twit with stamina.   Oh! What do we have here? A wild, majestic deer?   Click, click, click, she takes a pic of the creature. Documenting every unimportant feature.   Chet throws a rock and spooks the buck. This bad boy is pushing his luck.   Wendy finds a rock she thinks is worth money, makes room in her bag by eating bread and honey.   She throws a sandwich at Chet, who doesn’t give a hoot. Too busy crushing flowers with the heel of his boot.   He feels quite dandy, eating lots of candy.   “Smile, Chet, SMILE!” Mom tries to snap the moment. He frowns and treats her like an evil opponent.   When lunch is over, they dump their trash in the woods. Wendy fills her bag with Rocky Mountain goods.   Mother and son, two peas in a pod. Nothing charming about what makes them odd.   Slide Rock Bolters hang on the peaks. Waiting for their moment, to kill what reeks. The biggest of all slides down the slope. Wendy takes a picture, oh what a dope!   Loosening its grip and lifting its claw, it oozes slobber and smacks its jaw.   Chet is oblivious, playing with a toy. He thinks he's King, a problem boy.   The Bolter is bigger than a whale in the ocean designed to destroy and make a commotion. Jaws wide open, it slides in their direction, Ready to purge the Wendy-Chet infection.   Cleansed from the mountains without a fight Both of them gone in one single bite. 
9.
01:51
Who's the foe who crushes bones Late at night when you're all alone Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Stretching out it's tentacles late at night on the beach Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom The lone survivors always preach Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Making ghost towns one by one When the moon comes out, every bodies done So now you know the truth is out The Ting Tong's coming without a doubt Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting Tong, Ting
10.
02:58
Underneath the full moon they whisper and talk.  Two brothers on a late night walk. On through the woods, and down by the river, something in the meadow made them both shiver. “What’s that?” The younger brother asked the other. They crept closer to get a better look. The wind howled and the tree limbs shook.  Overwhelming fear stopped them in their tracks. A hair-raising chill ran up their backs.  The legs and waist of a woman stood strong. Little brother asked, “What could’ve gone wrong?” Her severed flesh caught the boys off guard. The morbid wound made their hearts pound hard.  The older boy looked to the sky for he knew the Manananggal could fly.  She whooped and swooped all over the village, feasting on the blood of anyone she could pillage.  Favoring children younger than young. Removing their hearts with a long pointed tongue. The older boy explained the situation.  The Manananggal seeks annihilation.  Her long, flowing skirt blew in the wind. When her torso returned, it was destined to mend. “Brother, can you overcome the urge to be a coward?  Together this evil can be overpowered.” The boys agreed To do the deed For if they fled They’d wind up dead. They pulled up a mess of garlic root, crushed it under the heel of a boot. They smeared the garlic on the bloody stump, it steamed and fizzed with every last clump. The Mananangal's foot started to tap.  The boys had a feeling it was a trap.  They couldn’t believe their eyes.  What a terrifying surprise. No time to run, they hid in a tree, scared to death of what they might see. It didn’t take long—daybreak was near. She flapped around, terrifyingly clear. She smashed her torso down onto her hips. She tasted garlic upon her lips. Wickedly trying to reconnect.  Her body was broken, cunningly wrecked.  She screamed in despair, doomed, without a prayer. Frantically flying, a fickle fit of fury. It’s not a pretty sight to watch evil worry. Rage swelled up, she sought revenge.  The sun's coming up, her flesh would singe. She smoked and she cried. Engulfed, she died. Whatever was left had turned to stone. The boys together bravely walked home.
11.
Something wasn’t right with the Buford Beaman boy. A teensy, tiny fella who looked like a toy. Everyone thought he was just a late bloomer, that turned out to be a silly little rumor. Next week he would be seventeen. He had a big beard, deep voice, and everything. His younger brothers were much bigger and taller. A single-mother family living in squalor. What can they do? There’s no doctor around. Just a witch on a hill, with a cat and a hound. She was known for miracles and curing ailments. Some say she’s the cause of many derailments. The next day, mom took the boy to the Witch. Along the way, they passed something dead in the ditch. Knock knock knock! The Witch answered the door. “Come in! Come in! Whatcha waiting for?” “Leave the boy with me for three days time.”  “How shall I pay you? I haven’t a dime.” “One day I will call upon you for a favor. Whatever I need, you will have to cater." The Witch opened the door and said, “NOW YOU HAVE TO GO! I have work to do on your boy, don’t you know?” Reluctantly mom left her boy with the Witch. What if something went wrong? Some sort of glitch? The Witch tied a rope around Buford’s ankles. She hoisted him up; from a rafter he dangled. No food or drink for Buford that day, The second was the same in every way. The boy hung with his head aimed at the floor. He whimpered all day and at night she would snore. He moaned and he groaned, the Witch said, “don’t worry.” “It’s all part of the remedy,” and off she scurried. On the third day, the Witch began to cook. A good smelling stew from her recipe book! Carrots, potatoes, onions and cabbage, A carcass and seasonings, his hunger was savage! Buford struggled with all his might. He squirmed and he wiggled. He just wanted a bite! She slid the kettle under Buford’s head. He breathed in the steam. “I just want to be fed!” His poor tummy grumbled and shook all around. The Witch touched his gut, and listened to its sound. “Breathe, breathe, breathe,” the Witch told the boy. "The stew is bait! Part of the ploy!" Little Buford Beaman coughed and choked. Something came out when his belly she poked. Slobber and spit oozed from his mouth along with a tapeworm, all headed south. One foot, two foot, three foot, four! How on earth could there still be more? Five foot, six foot, seven foot, eight! No wonder this boy was second-rate! Buford had fed this enormous parasite! It ate his breakfast, lunch and dinner, nearly every bite! Buford was dumbfounded, how could this be true? It snaked through his throat and plopped in the stew. The tapeworm sloshed around in the pot. The Witch untied the boy, oh what a knot! Unable to stand, he fell to the floor. Feeling weak and woozy and terribly sore. Everything was spinning, his vision a blur He tried to speak. It was a rambling slur! "I cann't beeeliieve tthiis iss whhy I'mm a ruuunt"   "Gooosh daaang whhaat aa hooorrribble stuuunt!" The Witch dipped the ladle deep into the kettle, poor Buford’s tummy had no chance to settle. She served up a big bowl of the stew. Set it next to Buford, his face turned blue. “Eat!” the Witch demanded, “then eat some more!” “No way!” Buford said, as he ran out the door. The Witch shrugged her shoulders and tasted the soup. It was quite good, despite looking like goop. She dragged the tapeworm out of the broth, and let it go in the lake, where it wriggled off.  
12.
03:24
Two guys on a joyride in an old pickup truck. Driving country roads, when they ran out of luck. They found an old house they thought they would explore. It looked like a strange place! They wanted to see some more. They parked the truck and climbed the fence. It didn’t take long for things to get tense. It seemed like the place might be abandoned. No way to let a mouse or man in. The windows and doors were boarded up tight, Willie had a feeling that something wasn’t right. Jed went back to the truck for a crow bar and hammer leaving his friend to climmer and clammer. Fear welled up inside old Willie. His good friend Jed, just thought he was silly! With tools in hand, Jed finally returned. He wore a fat smile, but his friend looked concerned. “Let’s go to work on that old front door!” They pried off the boards ‘til there were no more. The door creaked open and lit up the stairs. Onward and upward a stumbling pair. One by one they stepped to the top. So dang dark they just had to stop. Together they fumbled around in the dark. What’s that noise? Fear began to spark. “Maybe we should hide and pretend we aren’t here.” “Be quiet,” Willie said, shaking with fear. All was dark when they heard the sound. Somebody’s footsteps walking around. Just then, the front door creaked and slammed. “Hold on” Jed said, “We’ll all be damned!” The pounding began as they stood in pitch black. They groped all around to deal with the lack. “Wait! Who’s there?” They yelled and they cried. Not what they had in mind when they went for their ride! They tumbled and stumbled their way down the staircase. Willie couldn’t see his hand in front of his face. The pounding continued and drove them hysterical. Resolving this trouble would take a miracle! No such luck, though they did find the door. A little too late—they cursed and they swore. Someone had nailed the boards back on. They both felt duped, all hope was gone! They felt around until Jed found a match. He struck and it lit, the last of the batch. What they saw chilled them to the bone. The haunting truth that they weren't all alone. A house full of corpses scattered about. Trespassers like them, they had no doubt And just like that, the match went out.

credits

released April 10, 2020

All songs written by Sterling Witt
Copyright 2020 Disheartened Music (ASCAP)

Produced by Sterling Witt
Recorded by Joel Nanos at Element Recording Studios
Kansas City Missouri.

Sterling Witt - vocals, guitar
Kitten A. Boggs - bass, vocals
Evan Verploegh - drums

Grand River Records
PO BOX 193
Freeman MO 64746

www.SterlingWitt.com
www.GrandRiverRecords.com

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Sterling Witt Kansas City, Missouri

“Originality is a hard thing to come by these days; and not a word we use lightly, but it has to be said – Sterling Witt is IT.”
-Indie Music Magazine

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